Saturday, August 30, 2014

Search For Identity: My Native American Ancestors - Part 1

This post is not to be scientific or even "politically" correct.  It is really to take note of my feelings and the journey that I am pursuing in identifying my Native American Tribe.  I thought I felt out of sorts because I was adopted, then I felt out of sorts because I could not locate the African tribe that I descended from, and now I am out of sorts because I can not identify or pinpoint what my tribal affiliation is.  Oh sure I have some idea, however, in genealogy, one must be able to prove their ancestry through paper work and documents. But what happens when there is no paperwork?  What happens when your ancestors were culturally annihilated.  I feel more of an orphan than I do as an adopted adult.  An orphan usually has been rejected or lost.  At least with adoption, there is hope in finding out who you are; or in my case, I found that which was lost, as I found my birth family...but even they don't know their roots.

When I look in the mirror, I cannot deny that I am Native American, just like I cannot deny that I am of African descent and Mexican ancestry.  I understand that what you look like does not necessarily mean anything when it comes to tribal affiliation...however, knowing that my maternal ancestors were from Mexico, and most of that land mass is New Mexico, Arizona, and Texas now and that they carry names such as Espinosa/za and Munoz, Baca, Zapata, and Chavez, and Sanchez, then I know that the DNA that has identified me as 25% Indian has to mean something.  When I look at the census reports, my ancestors carrying such names are now identified as white, there has to be a reason.  I am not white.

I want to know who I am, even if this means digging up old bones and asking my ancestors to guide me. 

This is just my thoughts for the moment.  I will be dealing with this issue until I find my roots, and find my people.

5 comments:

  1. And I know that you will find out what you want to know, you are an excellent researcher and some how you will find out what you are looking for.

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    1. I appreciate the compliment. I pray that I do discover what needs to be known.

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  2. So well said Yvette! I will be continuing to follow you on your journey as you continue to search. I hope and pray that the ancestors are able to guide you to all the answers you seek.

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    1. Thank you Andrea. I guess I better start asking.

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    2. Good luck Yvette! I think most of us are in the same boat when it comes to specifics.

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